Babylon Bee
Your Trusted Source for Christian News Satire.
Feed Items
-
π
10 Consequences Of Harambe's Death
published 2 weeks ago -
π
10 Great New Jobs For Stephen Colbert After 'Late Show' Finale
published 3 weeks ago -
π
10 Irrefutable Proofs Russia Is Better Than The U.S.
published 8 days ago -
π
40-Year Old Man Now Spends Inordinate Amount Of Time Researching Electrolytes
published 8 days ago -
π
'60 Minutes' Begins Search For New Pompous Blowhard
published 9 days ago -
π
7 Ways To Celebrate Pride Month With Your Family This Year
published 9 days ago -
π
After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes
published 7 days ago -
π
Americans Overwhelmed By How Much Better Lives Have Gotten Since Attacking Iran
published 3 days ago -
π
Apostle John Pads Short Third Letter With Extra-Wide Margins, 22-Point Font
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Attack Ad Against Republican Convinces Man To Vote For Republican
published 11 days ago -
π
Bad Sign? Big Mac Now Listed As βMarket Priceβ
published 3 days ago -
π
Bears Forced To Leave Chicago After Every Player, Coach, Fan Killed In Drive-Bys
published 6 days ago -
π
Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista
published 40 hours ago -
π
Boaz Carefully Arranges Stalks Of Grain On Ground To Spell Out βHey Gurlβ
published 2 weeks ago -
π
British Government Gives Religious Exemption For Suicide Vests
published 13 hours ago -
π
Brits Wish There Were Some Kind Of Ranged Weapon That Shoots High-Velocity Ammunition To Protect Them From Knife Attacks
published 8 days ago -
π
California Announces They Have Finished Counting The Votes, Ronald Reagan Has Won The 1966 Governor's Race
published 9 days ago -
π
California Officials Pleased With Voter Turnout Of 250 Percent
published 3 days ago -
π
California Passes Law Making It A Crime To Report A Crime
published 2 weeks ago -
π
California Reminds Voters There Are Just 30 Days Left To Vote In Last Tuesdayβs Election
published 4 days ago -
π
Californians Give Us Their Top 9 Reasons For Still Voting Democrat
published 10 days ago -
π
Canadian Grandma Excited To Hear Her Family Is Paying To Hire A MAID
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Ceasefire Rages Across Middle East
published 8 days ago -
π
Celebrate Pride Month With These 12 Inspiring Bible Passages About Pride
published 11 days ago -
π
Chuck Schumer Celebrates Memorial Day Alone As All Of Last Year's Guests Dead From E. Coli
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Church Hack: Explain To Everyone Stacking Chairs That You'd Love To Help, But Your Spiritual Gift Is Encouragement
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Companies Posting Pride Month Logos Obviously Unaware That Donald Trump Is President
published 10 days ago -
π
Company-Wide Meeting Really Just For Phil
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Democrats Denounce βDirty Trickβ Of Playing Videos Of James Talarico Saying Things
published 13 days ago -
π
Democrats Hopeful Average Texas Voter Wants To Ban Steak And Thinks God Is Gay
published 2 weeks ago -
π
'Disclosure Day' Causes Audiences To Question Their Faith In Steven Spielberg
published 15 hours ago -
π
Disney Attempts To Win Star Wars Fans Back With New Jar Jar Binks Trilogy
published 10 days ago -
π
Disney Hoping To Revive Star Wars So They Can Kill It Again
published 11 days ago -
π
DNC 2024 Election Autopsy Just Joe Biden's Actual Autopsy
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Elizabeth Warren Vows New Tax On Puppies
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Elon Musk Confirms He Will Soon Have Enough Money To Become Batman
published 38 hours ago -
π
EMTs To Be Stationed Near Spurs Bench Next Game To Prevent Choking
published 39 hours ago -
π
Everyone In Chicago Shot Over The Weekend
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Family Hit Hard By Rising Cost Of Necessities Like Gas, Groceries, Netflix, DoorDash, Discount Wine Club, Pie-Of-The-Month Subscription
published 2 weeks ago -
π
'Feminism Was A Mistake,' Thinks Man Immediately After Starting To Change Baby's Diaper
published 9 days ago -
π
Fundamentalist Church Announces Fun VBS Theme 'Demons Are Out To Get You'
published 4 days ago -
π
Gen Zer Dies Of Starvation After DoorDash Driver Gets Flat Tire
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Generation That Put Nation $39 Trillion In Debt Condemns Gen Z For Spending Irresponsibly
published 3 weeks ago -
π
George Lucas Releases Edit Of The Bible Where Malchus Attacks Peter First
published 9 days ago -
π
Google Searches For Military School Skyrocket Ten Minutes Into Summer Vacation
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Graham Platner Reassures Voters That There Are Probably Only 14 Or 15 More Horrific Revelations To Come
published 7 days ago -
π
Graham Platner Says He Got His 'I (Heart) Hitler' Tattoo Before He Knew Of Its Nazi Connections
published 10 days ago -
π
Grok Responds To Pope Leo By Publishing List Of 95 Theses
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Hunter Biden's Reputation In Ruins After Talking To Candace Owens
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Intensive Bible Study Reveals Elijah And Elisha Are Two Different People
published 8 days ago -
π
James Talarico Taking 'Not Acting Gay' Lessons from Tim Walz
published 2 weeks ago -
π
'Jesus Never Said You Can't Do This!' Shouts James Talarico While Dropkicking Labradoodle
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Jill Biden Assures Nation Joeβs Old Age Did Not Hamper Her Ability To Serve As President
published 9 days ago -
π
Jill Biden Explains She Thought Joe Had A Stroke During Debate, Which Is Why She Left Him Up There To Die
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Jimmy Kimmel Signs Endorsement Deal With Midol
published 13 days ago -
π
John Bolton Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To 5-Year Imprisonment At SeaWorld
published 8 days ago -
π
Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead
published 3 days ago -
π
Keir Starmer Warns UK About Rise Of Murdererphobia
published 7 days ago -
π
King Solomon Admits He May Have Plagiarized βNothing New Under The Sunβ
published 16 hours ago -
π
L.A. Residents Face Tough Decision Whether To Elect Communist Or Communist
published 2 days ago -
π
L.A. Vote Update: Spencer Pratt Now At Negative One Billion Votes
published 4 days ago -
π
Least Popular Sport In The World Holds Little Tournament
published 41 hours ago -
π
Liberals Give Us Their 10 Most Convincing Arguments For Abortion
published 7 days ago -
π
Life Hack: Wife Texting You Too Much? Reply 'Unsubscribe' And She's Legally Required To Stop
published 2 days ago -
π
Los Angeles Officials Warn It May Take Several Weeks To Tally Up Goals From World Cup Matches
published 3 days ago -
π
Maine Updates State Flag With Swastika
published 2 days ago -
π
Man Discovers Amazing New Weight Loss Method Of Crippling Stress And Anxiety
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Man Needing Break From Reality Turns On CNN
published 8 days ago -
π
Man Watching Blue Origin Explode Just Glad To Know Wife's Amazon Purchases Could Finance This
published 13 days ago -
π
Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Media To Just Start Reporting When Trump Wasn't Shot At
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Mom Enjoys 30-Minute Respite Between Completing Laundry And Needing To Do More Laundry
published 2 days ago -
π
Nation Looks Forward To Not Watching Stephen Colbert One Last Time
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Nation Shocked As Candidate With Nazi Tattoo Turns Out To Be Total Scumbag
published 11 days ago -
π
Nation Shocked As Jury Rules You Cannot Stab Someone In The Heart For No Reason At All
published 3 days ago -
π
Noah Fined By HOA For Parking Boat In Driveway
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Not Again: Trump Struck In The Ear By Shot From T-Shirt Cannon
published 3 days ago -
π
Obama Says If He Had A Son Who Stabbed Someone In The Heart With A Knife, He Would Look Just Like Karmelo Anthony
published 2 days ago -
π
'Obsession' Director Says He Got Idea For Horror Movie Having Once Met A Woman
published 7 days ago -
π
Oh No: Band Going to Play Something From New Album
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Parents Choose Abortion After Devastating News That Their Baby Would Be Among Happiest Demographic On Earth
published 6 days ago -
π
Parents Help Graduate Sound Out The Words On Diploma
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Physicians At Walter Reed Confirm Trump's Midi-Chlorian Count Is Off The Charts
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Platner Smooths Things Over With Democrats By Covering Nazi Tattoo With Hammer & Sickle
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Playskool Introduces βMy First Hobo Campβ For California Children
published 4 days ago -
π
Politicians Begin Offering Tucker Carlson $1 Million To Not Endorse Them
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Popular New Service Removes All The Orange Candies Before You Get The Box
published 11 days ago -
π
Pride Parade Forced To Change Direction After Route Takes It Within 200 Yards Of School
published 9 days ago -
π
Review: 'The Mandalorian And Grogu' Is A Fun Enough Flick β But It Utterly Fails To Mention Anything About Freeing Palestine
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Satan Takes Credit For Raisins
published 10 days ago -
π
SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Scholars Believe John Was Known As 'The Baptist' To Differentiate Himself From 'John The Presbyterian'
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Seeing That It's 5PM, Talarico Paints on Some Stubble
published 9 days ago -
π
'Sesame Street' Now Preceded By Warning That Its Content Is Not Suitable For Children
published 10 days ago -
π
Should You Believe All Women? A Handy Flowchart
published 7 days ago -
π
Should You Start A Podcast? Take The Quiz
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Social Media Influencer Gives Birth To New Revenue Stream
published 9 days ago -
π
St. Paul Relinquishes βChief Of Sinnersβ Title After New Platner Allegations Come To Light
published 6 days ago -
π
Starmer Sets Up Commission To Respond To Attempted Beheading UPDATE: The Commission Has Been Beheaded
published 14 hours ago -
π
Starmer To Irish: Letβs Not Bicker And Argue About Who Beheaded Whom
published 2 days ago -
π
State Where P-51 Mustang Was Built In 102 Days Now Taking 4 Years To Build Bridge For Butterflies
published 11 days ago -
π
Supreme Court To Hear Argument Between Siblings Over Who Called Shotgun
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Teen Boy Worried Hair Does Not Look Enough Like Head Of Broccoli
published 4 days ago -
π
The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Leaked Copy Of The Iran-U.S. Peace Deal
published 2 weeks ago -
π
The Bee Explains: How Soccer Works
published 13 hours ago -
π
Thomas Massie Finally Recognized As True Libertarian Now That He Doesn't Have A Job
published 3 weeks ago -
π
'Throw Pillows' Narrowly Edges Out 'Food' In Local Couple's Monthly Budget
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Top 10 Coolest Spiritual Gifts
published 3 days ago -
π
Total Chaos As White Church Choir Tries To Sing African Spiritual
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Tragedy: Multiple Trump Assassins Accidentally Shoot Each Other
published 2 weeks ago -
π
Trump Narrowly Escapes Being Bitten By Rabid Kristen Welker
published 3 days ago -
π
Trump Recognizes Pride Month By Hosting Soccer Match On White House Lawn
published 11 days ago -
π
Trump Repairs The Crack In The Liberty Bell
published 7 days ago -
π
Trump Sets New World Record By Winning War With Iran 27 Times In One Year
published 38 hours ago -
π
Trump Shocked To Learn Genocidal Jihadists Often Don't Negotiate In Good Faith
published 10 days ago -
π
Trump Surprises Don Jr. With Beautiful Wedding Gift Of Cuba
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Tulsi Gabbard Forced To Resign After Trump Discovers She's Not Blonde
published 3 weeks ago -
π
UK Authorities Issue Stern Warning To British People To Stop Being Stabbed By Muslims
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Was Jesus The Long-Awaited Messiah? 9 Subtle Clues
published 2 days ago -
π
Weird: High School Valedictorian Not Asian
published 2 weeks ago -
π
βWhat Is A World Cup?β Googles America
published 17 hours ago -
π
White House Announces Iran Deal Completely Done Except For All The Important Parts
published 2 weeks ago -
π
White Smoke Rises From Los Angeles, Signaling Karen Bass Is Still Mayor
published 3 weeks ago -
π
Wife Says Her Love Language Is All Of Them And You're Going To Have To Guess Which One She Wants Today
published 2 weeks ago -
π
World Cup Stadium Empty As European Tourists All Just Hanging Out At Buc-ee's
published 37 hours ago -
π
Zillow Adds New Feature For California Homes Showing Whether They Are Currently On Fire
published 3 weeks ago